"I've been around lots of people who are insecure or bitter or negative, and you can be having the time of your life but they'll still bring you down in 20 seconds.
People don't realise how much influence we have on one another. When I walk into a room, I hope it suddenly becomes a better room. I want people to say ' Wherever Wayne is, that's the room I want to be in'."
Wayne Coyne (The Flaming Lips)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
2007
I hate using the words 'diary' or 'journal' to refer to the notebooks I write in, it makes me feel like an antisocial nerd. Just admitting I have a diary/ journal makes me feel I must be cliche 1.white, 2. female, 3. antisocial and 4. a nerd. It doesn't help that I have written about my stereotype girl feelings, like wishing my pores were smaller.
So anyway, I had this collection of random writing in my notebook from 2007. As any autobiographical text is basically just a diary with all the embarrassing parts omitted, I suppose I'll share snippets comparatively more intelligent than the thoughts I usually obsessed about.
Dec, 2007
[This guy I was briefly going out with/ seeing/ not going steady] and I were sitting at this cafe, and he was telling me about this old parable he read. You know the new age philosophical corny stuff on a poster you stick on your bathroom wall to read while you're having a piss. I recalled this memory while I was in a nostalgic mood the other day and I then I found that story on the web:
"One Night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you you'd walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
[This guy I was briefly going out with/seeing/ not going steady]'s eyes welled up with tears, then he put his hands over his face and stayed like that for a couple minutes. I felt awkward and the minutes felt like hours. He finally recovered, put his hands back on the table, and said he 'can be quite emotional sometimes'.
I thought it was cheesy at the time, but now I realise it is quite a powerful story, and back then I was really just jaded to emotions because I was neurologically compromised by the meds I was taking, as well as dull to life in general due to overwhelming feelings I was enduring that summer. I also saw him cry during the Jackie Chan movie we saw earlier that day. It was called 'Hero', I think. I guess it was kinda a sad movie in some parts, but not really. Incidentally, he was the nicest, most calm and non-judgmental person you could ever meet.
So anyway, I had this collection of random writing in my notebook from 2007. As any autobiographical text is basically just a diary with all the embarrassing parts omitted, I suppose I'll share snippets comparatively more intelligent than the thoughts I usually obsessed about.
Dec, 2007
[This guy I was briefly going out with/ seeing/ not going steady] and I were sitting at this cafe, and he was telling me about this old parable he read. You know the new age philosophical corny stuff on a poster you stick on your bathroom wall to read while you're having a piss. I recalled this memory while I was in a nostalgic mood the other day and I then I found that story on the web:
"One Night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you you'd walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
[This guy I was briefly going out with/seeing/ not going steady]'s eyes welled up with tears, then he put his hands over his face and stayed like that for a couple minutes. I felt awkward and the minutes felt like hours. He finally recovered, put his hands back on the table, and said he 'can be quite emotional sometimes'.
I thought it was cheesy at the time, but now I realise it is quite a powerful story, and back then I was really just jaded to emotions because I was neurologically compromised by the meds I was taking, as well as dull to life in general due to overwhelming feelings I was enduring that summer. I also saw him cry during the Jackie Chan movie we saw earlier that day. It was called 'Hero', I think. I guess it was kinda a sad movie in some parts, but not really. Incidentally, he was the nicest, most calm and non-judgmental person you could ever meet.
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